Emotional Intelligence & Social Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to bring intelligence to emotion. To view the human experience without bringing in emotion is short-sighted... Emotions are part of the human experience as much as thought. In his book Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman outlines Emotional Intelligence as:

• Knowing Ones Emotions;
• Managing Ones Emotions Appropriately;
• Motivating Ones Self;
• Recognizing and Understanding Other Peoples Emotions;
• Managing Relationships -- Managing the Emotions of Others.

Mediators who work with high conflict parties need to examine their own level of Emotional Intelligence. To appropriately intervene with parties in high emotion, I believe we must first be able to accept our own emotions and manage them, not deny or suppress them. The role of a mediator is to hold the space for parties so they can work on and address difficult issues. If the mediator is unable to accept and manage their own emotions...how can they create a space for others to accept and manage strong emotions?

I encourage all mediators to take an emotional intelligence test available on-line. There are many out there if you google for them.... One quick and easy test can be found at

http://psychologytoday.psychtests.com/cgi-bin/tests/transfer.cgi?partner=pt&part=1&teaser=0&ref=free&ad=0&test=eiq_abridged&AMT=0.00&item=Emotional%20IQ%20Test%20-%20Abridged

The next frontier appears to be Social Intelligence.... Here is an article about Daniel Goleman's latest book.....

Daniel Goleman, the author of the best-selling book "Emotional Intelligence," is back with a new book on social intelligence -- the ability to read other people's cues and then act on them.
In "Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships," Goleman says that our brain is designed to make connections with other humans, and that our relationships have a real biological impact -- whether it's flirting with the opposite sex or succeeding at work.
Social intelligence means being smart in relationships by being empathetic, or being able to sense what others are feeling and their intentions.
Secondly, it means having the social skills to act on that information.
The people with the most social intelligence are those who are good listeners, Goleman says.
You can become a better listener by being motivated and mindful in social situations.
Instead of just saying what you think, stop and listen to the other person, and fine-tune your response to them.
Once you make the effort, and practice the skill, it comes naturally.
For full article see this link
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=2496899&page=1

Check out Daniel Goleman's books:
http://astore.amazon.com/rcblog-20